Okay! For all of you who wondered why the sudden stop in blogging, I just had too many things going on in my head and could not sort them out at the time. Sometimes, especially as we get older, you have to review what's in the filing cabinets and clean out all the stuff that doesn't really ring as truth!

Memory is not necessarily an accurate recorder. Memory only records our perspective and our emotions at any given time in our life. And perspective is certainly subjective to the emotions of the time thus distorting the truth with joy, fear, pain, etc. That concept is never more noticeable than when family members get together and reminisce about all the events of their lives for no one person will have seen the event the same as anyone else.

I used to have journals that I could refer to to help me keep the memories clear. I started writing as a young child and kept my secret journals throughout my life. So, when confronted with memories of friends or relatives that conflicted with mine, I could dig back and find out what I thought at the time. Really helped keep me honest - and helped show me how I had grown and changed as the years went by (Praise G-d for that! I would hate to be the same person today that I was 30 and 40 years ago!). However, two housefires and lots of moving around have destroyed all the old journals. I can't look back and see how important that one boy was to me or how bored I was in school or how I felt about all things that were going on in my family at the time.

I really miss having them!!! I used to use New Year's Eve and New Year's Day as time to sit, review parts of my life through my journals and formulate my personal goals for the new year. Oh, not the "I'm going to lose fifteen pounds" kind of goals - but the really important goals, like "I want to be a more generous person" kind of things. It takes a lot more time to review the past and reformulate goals when you don't have a true picture of your past perspectives. Thus, the time was needed to pull myself away from everything and everyone - and spend time in the presence of G-d reviewing, comparing and formulating the goals for this year.

For my family - no, I was not depressed. I had some emotions that I needed to analyze and some serious praying to do. It is difficult to watch those you care about suffering pain, emotional stress, etc. but that is part of what must be accepted as the cycle of life. Sorting out how I feel about my place in that cycle was more of an issue.

Suffice it to say that I have done my review, started a whole new set of journals, accepted my place in life and the goals that G-d has set before me and have begun working on the objectives necessary to reach those goals.

Now, I must ask for prayers - the list is short this time - but we're back in touch now so keep an eye on this blog :

1 For my Mom, Joan, who has been in a lot of pain lately. Please pray that the days of her life will be filled with peace.

2 For my brother in law, John Lee, who is doing much better since he is under 24 hour care but doesn't seem to have recovered any short term memory. Pray that he will accept where G-d has placed him and will do what is best for himself, his family and his friends.

3 Amy - and Paige and Garrett - the twins that Amy is carrying. Pray that both babies will wait just a little longer to be born - and that they will both be healthy.

4 For Janet D - and for her daughter. Please pray that some of the stress of all these illnesses and caretaker problems will be relieved soon and that good health will follow in this year. Also pray that Janet will know that the L-rd is in charge and will bring peace to all who believe in Him.

5 For Dan and Liz - Dan lost his sister suddenly. Pray for his peace of mind and comfort from the pain of loss.

Praise report - After 6 months of prayer, my daughter's friend had his child returned to him from an ex-wife abduction. I did not have some of you with me on the prayer chain then - but it is a joy to report when prayers are answered.

Thanks for your prayers!!!